For I Have Sinned
by Darla's-Fallen-Angel
Summary: A major AU. Drusilla gets sired by Angelus in a modern setting; Sunnydale, 2004. Please read and review!


A/N: Okay, here's another story, yes _another _one. The plot bunny for this kept attacking me, so I just had to write it. It's a lot darker of a fic then even I usually write; so don't yell at me, okay? This is set in present day, so it's a major AU. 

**For I Have Sinned **

**Chapter One**

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned." These were the first words out of Drusilla's mouth that day, as everyday. Her knees were sore from kneeling on the confession bench and she racked her mind for something she had done wrong. In truth she didn't think she'd sinned at all since the previous morning, she'd done everything her father had asked of her, so what could she say now? But she knew if she didn't say anything he'd think she was lying and punish her for it later.

It didn't used to be this way, Drusilla had a mother once and her father didn't hit her every time she'd done anything he deemed as wrong. She couldn't help it that she knew things were going to happen before they did, she really couldn't. She tried not to see the images in her mind, but they just came. It was the Devil, her father told her, and try as she might, even with daily attendance of church, she could seem to exorcise it from her brain. 

"Well?" the priest prompted, bringing twelve-year-old Drusilla out of her thoughts and back into the reality of this harsh drafty church. 

She started again, "Forgive me father for I have sinned…I disrespected my father, I-I wished he…I wished he would have died instead of my mom." Dru burst out in a flood of words and pent up emotions. She couldn't believe she'd uttered that aloud and looked up sharply from her bowed position wondering if she'd really said aloud. 

The priest was silent a moment before sighing deeply and saying, "That is a very serious thing, my child; disrespecting your father and thinking malicious thoughts about him, tell me, Drusilla, what caused such a thing to come into your mind?"

A dozen images flashed into her head at his question, images of her father, finding out she didn't attend bible study because she'd had too much homework, him unbuckling his belt from his pants and wrapping it around his hand, the harsh slapping sound it made as the leather struck her on her bare arms and against her cheek, the red welts and blooms of blood that appeared there. Oh, there were so many things, but what could she say? Her father was a well-respected man in the community, not to mention in the church. Would Father Adams even believe her if she told him? No, probably not, they were good friends, Father Adams and Dru's father. So instead she simply said, "I don't know, Father, but I'm sorry for it."

Farther Adams nodded, and looked at Drusilla though the mesh window of the confessional, satisfied with this answer, "Very well, Drusilla." He said, "Say a dozen Our Fathers and Hail Mary's and the good Lord will forgive your sins."

Drusilla nodded, familiar with this routine, "Yes Father," she said, standing, "Thank you father." She grabbed her backpack, which she's laid on a pew near the confessional and walked out of the church, glancing at her digital watch, hoping she wouldn't be late for school now. 

Her father's rusted blue pick-up truck waited for her in the church parking lot, it was old and what once was midnight blue had faded to a sort of gray, it looked looming and ominous as it always had, but Dru pushed the foolish thoughts out of her mind and jogged towards it, sliding in the passenger seat and clicking on her seat belt before turning to her father and smiling slightly. 

His small beady black eyes looked back at her unforgiving, "Well?" he asked, his voice rasping harshly, "What are you staring at me for, girl? Didn't Father Adams give you prayers to say?"

Dru nodded, "Yes, Sir." She replied automatically, not looking him in the eyes now, but rather at his nose, at least that couldn't glare other. 

"So say them."

Dru clasp her hand and bowed her head, she stayed like that the entire ride to school, but not a single prayer went through her mind, she was thinking of other things; wondering if she'd have enough time to go to bible study tonight so she didn't get beaten, and hoping that her father wouldn't drink his pay check away, because when he came home drunk, the beating looked awful good, compared what he did to her then.

Drusilla wished to be saved from this…life. From her father hitting or, worse, touching her, from having to spend every waking moment in school or church practicing a religion she wasn't even sure she believed in. She'd never had a friend over to their home, never been to a sleepover or birthday party, her father wouldn't allow it, telling her she should spend her time studying the bible and thinking of the Lord instead of her own adolescent trivialities. And she tried, attending church every morning before school, and going to bible study after, she went to church with her father twice both week days and tried to be a good and obedient daughter, oh how she tried, but the pictures in her head wouldn't stop, though she'd learned better than to speak of them long ago, they still frightened her.

More than anything, Drusilla wished for a friend, a savoir, sure she knew the only savoir she should long for was Jesus Christ, but he couldn't go to the movies with her on weekends or giggle about how hot Danny Breton was in her math class. She needed a friend, that was the type of savior she longed for, and she'd find him soon, sooner than she would have thought. But her savoir would also be the one responsible for her undoing, and his name was Angelus.

A/N: Again, I hope I didn't offend anyone with the religious undertones, because I didn't mean to, but while I wrote this I kept thinking of the mother in the movie _Carrie _and how fanatically religious she was…so that's sort of who I modeled Dru's dad after. Please review and tell me if you liked it!


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